Anyhoo, among the various surprises we DIDN'T plan for was when the plumbers dug up a whole pile of bones last night. At least there was no skull (good thing? bad thing?) and it definitely wasn't a complete skeleton or anything. So the plumbing company, whom I'm sure thinks we're serial killers, said that they had to call the police. So today I enjoyed a nice visit with two homicide detectives. They interviewed the plumbers, they talked to me, they wanted to go see the crime scene (?) but were dressed very nicely and there was no way either of them would fit down the trapdoor (see height & weight requirements above). They tried their best to assure me that 9 out of 10 times these things turn out to be animals. Big animals, but still, animals. And that other 1 time? Well, that's what we're waiting for the medical examiner to tell us.
In the meantime, to be on the safe side, we will be having the house blessed.
And praying that it was some poor cow, because the last thing we need is a full-on homicide investigation happening under our house. Especially with school starting next week and everything.