Spring cleaning

I am spring cleaning next week... not your usual closet-carpet-baseboard spring clean; I'm doing a nice, natural 7-day internal cleanse. (TMI? Sorry! Just wait until next week as I journal this thing!)

I've actually been meaning to do it for about a month, but we had a couple of dinner parties to go to and I didn't want to have to show up and then only drink my "special" tea. And then I didn't want to start right before Easter 'cause, well, I know this is just another excuse but let's sum it up in three words: chocolate, coconut, ham.

And then before that I was in the middle of my yearly battle against the dreaded Live Oak Pollen and my allergies left me feeling so awful I knew I couldn't stick to a diet. And then this past week I had a horrible sinus infection/chest cold and although it would have been the perfect time to cleanse since I wasn't eating hardly anything anyway, I didn't think that "gentle cleansing ingredients" would mix well with my 24/7 diet of NyQuil.

I'm mostly better now though and ready to face the Challenge! Starting Monday!

Some of the restrictions of the 7-day Cleanse are:

• No wheat
• No sugar
• No dessert!
• No dairy
• No Dessert!!
• No added oils
• No DESSERT!!!
• and, most challenging of all, No Caffeinated Beverages!!!!!&*^^@^*!

I can handle all of those things - even dessert! - but coffee? That's just scary. To help my system get ready, I have cut back from my usual six cups in the a.m. to a more human two. It hasn't been fun. I'm definitely in withdrawal and my stomach is wrecked, but I haven't had any of the other more scary side effects like lack of energy, splitting headaches, or the urge to kill. Maybe it's the tempering effects of all the leftover Easter candy I've been scarfing. (My diet for the last week has been limited to decongestants, Mucinex, NyQuil and chocolate bunnies. See why I need to cleanse?)

Anyway, I'm planning my menu for next week very carefully so that I can be sure to have all the ingredients on hand to make the foods I am allowed to eat - which is pretty much all the chicken, fish, oatmeal, vegetables and fruits I want. I think I can have polenta too -- which means I should be able to eat grits (although without the addition of heaping handfuls of sharp cheddar and/or sausage and/or shrimp).

Oh, and I can eat eggs. And all nuts except peanuts, which aren't my favorite anyway. So really it's a pretty good diet. Lots of variety.

But the no coffee thing? Eeeek.