Thursday, January 03, 2008


I'm not one for resolutions. I hate the feeling that I haven't accomplished something when I can't remember why I wanted to accomplish it in the first place. Which, given the general level of chaos here, can happen in 24 hours let alone an entire year. So usually I don't do resolutions.

But I will, this year, make a Lifetime Resolution. Here in Blogworld for all to see. So, here it is:

I will NEVER EVER EVER buy another house without 1) having it professionally cleaned from top to bottom before we move in and 2) treated for fleas, even if previous owners had never owned any pets. These will be my conditions for any future real estate transactions.

Why am I making this a lifelong resolution? Because, suckers that we are, we took the previous owners word that they had had the place cleaned and that their doggy had "never" had fleas. Sadly, we did not verify this before closing. So we got our dream house. Beautiful. Unique. Huge. Clean? Not so much. Maybe because it was vacant so long and showed so many times and, yes, I know people track all kinds of shit into houses and I'm sure the movers didn't always wipe their feet. There are many explanations for why it looks like a frat house on the wrong end of a weekend. But either the previous owners have early onset dementia and didn't notice little things, like that you can identify the last 4 months of meals that they ate by analyzing the drippings on the stove and oven. Or that the toilet is basically a toilet-shaped tower of bacteria. Or that something is up with the drain in the master bath because it's not normal to have to flush twice. Or why their feet/socks were mysteriously black after walking through the house. Really. Or maybe they too were ripped off by whomever it was that was supposed to have been cleaning it. Anyway, we got the short and grimy end of the stick. I'm proud to say that I've finally got the year's worth of drips, drops, dust and crap off the kitchen counters though. Thank you Clorox. I love me some bleach. After I feel we are properly disinfected I'll resume my usual routine with gentler Method products though.

As for the fleas, I couldn't get our service out here until next Thursday so I'll just keep vacuuming to keep them at bay and focus on coordinating the delivery of the new appliances. Which is getting tricky because M is involved and, as every woman knows, nothing mucks up the smooth running of a kitchen like a loving, well-intentioned husband.

Now that I think of it that might be the reason the house is such a wreck. I can just imagine her hubby saying "Honey, you've got enough to do with the move. I'll take care of the cleaning!" Oy.

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