Hey loser....

So, the kids and I are having a great time on vacation and the weather is great and all. Then last night (3 days into our good time!) I get a call from M that someone from American Express's security division was questioning some "unusual activity" on my card. Hmmm. No, I haven't lost my credit card. No, I didn't let anyone "borrow" it. And, hell no, I didn't purchase $60 of gas last Saturday night at a Texaco station in Venice, Florida. So I go online to check my card and find that some LOSER out there has charged over $7000 since last Friday night on my card!!!!! At places like 7-11s, Shell stations (over $4000 at Shell stations in the Ft. Myers area alone!) and TACO FRIGGIN' BELL!!!!! I'm LIVID. I call AMEX, who are very professional, assure me that my account is SOOOO cancelled and a new card being issued as we speak and that of course I'm not liable for a penny of those charges. And by the way, do I have any idea who might have done this? (No, because no one I know spends over $40 at Taco Bell. In a lifetime. Let alone one night.) Amex also assures me that IF they catch this person they will prosecute - and I'll be happy to help send this person to a punishment they deserve, which in my opinion should include things like many years of hard time, maybe on a chain gang, a flogging and perhaps public humiliation, but will probably be something much less. And by the way, all you scumbucket card-stealing losers out there, THANKS A LOT for robbing me of my piece of mind on my vacation. Now I get to spend the rest of my lovely month here (and probably the rest of the year) worrying that someone has stolen my identity.