In the midnight hour

M comes home from Kosovo today. His part of the project has wrapped up although it looks like it will be another year before the UN pulls out. Maybe they can use that time to pin down exactly how the Kosovars expect to support themselves once they are independent.

I've not been sleeping well, staying up far too late. In part because I can't calm my brain down enough to get a good night's sleep and in part because the cable channels have been showing Titanic a couple times a week and really, I just can't get enough of that movie. I have no idea why I haven't bought the DVD yet, but if it's on TV I can't resist watching and hoping - again and again - that Jack makes it out alive and he and Rose live happily ever after. (For the two or three people out there who haven't seen it AND coincidentally stumble on this blog: sorry for giving away the ending.) Anyhoo, the movie clocks in at three hours and change and tends to start around 11:00 pm so, you do the math, but generally it means I'm up until 2:00 watching the ship go down. Even after seeing it dozens of times, I still cry a bit during the "Jack! I'm flying!" part and when Rose can't wake Jack up at the end and when Celine starts singing at the credits. But at least I'm not thinking about my own misery during all this so for me the movie has fulfilled it's promise of Escapist Entertainment. But now that M's home I may have to switch to something a wee more highbrow, or at the very least something we haven't seen before.

For me, working through the grief and loss of the baby has resulted in my trying to stay very busy, which it turns out isn't that hard to do with a three-year-old in the house, especially since her school requires volunteer hours. I've signed up for a couple classroom projects and I'm in charge of their Valentine's Day party (OK, that's February but I'm thinking about it now!). Also I'm working on Teacher Appreciation Week, there's the school Silent Auction in October, field trips, etc. Then we've got our neighborhood playgroup, which has been so supportive of our family during all this. Plus I'm still in the Junior League and between committees and monthly meetings (which start again this month), it's that time of the year where I start wondering if I should buy a PDA and get myself organized instead of wandering around town with random dates and times scribbled on the backs of whatever loose paper I find in my purse.

Life does go on, whether you like it or not.